Socially Awkward: My decision to be a stay-at-home mom

I always knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I wasn't really overly obsessed with dolls or playing house, in fact, I was more inclined to pick up a pitchfork and muck a stall than spend the afternoon organizing a dollhouse. I had Barbies, but those aren't the toys my parents still have a box of. It's ponies. But back to mommy-hood.

I told my husband before we were even married that it was my desire to stay at home with our babies. I think my family knew about my plans, but who really knows...I was kind-of all over the place! For a long time, I wanted to be a neuro-surgeon (I once held a human brain at an exhibit in New York City...cue enlightened ideas of my future). I had always wanted to train/ride horses. Then there was the veterinarian phase. It was always something. So I did have big ambitions, and probably could have succeeded (or struggled to succeed) at any one of those plans. But I don't think I would have been as happy as I am now.
I will never forget hearing that my plans to get married and be a stay-at-home Mommy were "a waste of a great brain". Since when is it a "waste" to want to be there to raise your baby?! I was appalled. Don't get me wrong, I respect those women who balance a career and mommy-hood. It's wonderful! But it's not me. I want to be the one at home, helping her kids make a mess of finger-painting, cleaning up while they nap, and having dinner hot and ready for when the hubby gets home. That's my idea of perfection! So how did that become a "waste" or even lazy! Follow me around for a day, there's nothing lazy about it!

And while we are on the subject of society's views on Mommy-hood, SINCE WHEN is it an embarrassment to do what's best for my baby!? It's SO conflicting when all the doctors are telling you that breastfeeding is best, but it's too taboo to actually feed your baby anywhere where another person might catch a glance of what's going on. You feel shunned as a mother who chooses to breastfeed! And FORGET trying to breastfeed in public. I admire the women who can just do it without a second thought, confident as can be, but that just isn't my personality. I feel those staring eyes boring into me like daggers. I can almost hear them thinking "Can't you do that somewhere else?" Um, no. I can't. Because there is no "breastfeeding station" in the women's bathroom. There is no mommy recliner in the airliner. No such thing as a "powder room" anymore. There's a cold, hard toilet. With no back. And I've done that before! Sat on a toilet to feed my baby because I was desperate to calm her down and too embarrassed to try breastfeeding in the restaurant.
I realized just how much of an issue this really is when I asked on a Mommy forum what other mothers do while flying with a breastfeeding baby, as I have a flight coming up. They all said the same thing: "nurse on takeoff and landing, just use a cover like you would anywhere else". Anywhere else? I don't nurse her "anywhere else". I nurse her in the privacy of my own home. Anywhere else, I take pumped breastmilk in a bottle. And with the issues of flying with liquid, I don't really feel like having to play "what liquid is in the bottle" with security.
So when did it come to this? When did it become so "gross" for a woman to feed her own baby, yet we readily drink and feed our kids the same thing but from a COW! It's gross when it's from a human but acceptable from a cow? I'm confused. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to whip it out in mixed company. Not a fan. I'm not going to whip it out in any company (without a cover). And there are certain situations where, I believe, it's not really appropriate to feed your baby, cover or not. But I also believe it is society that has gotten us to this point. To a point where a woman feels ashamed to do what's best for her baby, in any company. And to a point where women who do feed their baby without second thought are labelled. A woman was actually kicked off of an airplane (the same airline I'm flying, yikes!) because she was breastfeeding her baby. No part of her was exposed, but because she refused to completely cover herself and her baby with a blanket, she was asked to get off. She was so embarrassed, she immediately got off instead of argue. That's disgusting! If she isn't exposed, then what is the problem? You are uncomfortable because she is doing the same thing your mother did to you 40 years ago? Get over it. If it's the thought of a breast that makes you uncomfortable, then grow up. It's OK for your teenage daughter to wear highly suggestive bikini's, but the idea that there is actually a breast, complete with nipple, in that babies mouth is too much for you to handle? What?!
So I came to a conclusion: it's not about society. It's not about whether or not John Smith and his wife are uncomfortable because they can hear a baby sucking behind them. It's about my baby not having to suffer through the pressure changes that come with gaining and losing altitude. So to the people around me on my flight, be prepared. I'm going to feed my baby. I'll do my best to make you not feel uncomfortable. You won't see anything. I've got an adorable, girly cover.

Hopefully you won't really realize what is going on unless you are just determined to pay attention. And I'm not going to be sorry. I'm not going to feel like I shouldn't feed my baby. I'm not going to care more about what you think than my baby's comfort on her first flight.
Sorry for the rant. It's just been on my mind alot lately since as Kaelyn gets older we go out more and more. And with our impending travel, it has all come to a head.
On a brighter note, I made more frozen baby food! Lots and lots! I think I won't need to make any more until she is ready to move on to the next stage of foods (6-8 months). I'm a total homemade baby-food hoarder. And proud of it :D